Dog Troubles

Due to popular request I am dog blogging. I sit here frozen in aprehension, for my dog's nails need to be clipped. I am not in the mood to be bitten without flinching. I don't believe I am up to the battle of the muzzle. I am getting older and slower much faster than the dog is. The dew claws are curled toward the foot pad; I must cut them tonight.
The back ones are relatively easy: from behind, cup the knee with one hand and clip with the other. The front talons come next after the muzzle has been applied and the foot hair has been cut. The dog must be distracted at the near-to-last second or she will pull back and I could cut the quick. If the muzzle has not been applied, the dog will bite the sharp shearing blade.
The lengthy part of this ritual is the muzzle application. I finally found one that fits the snout. I had tried the sock over the head; netting; treats; being patient and soft-spoken; being firm and confident; the slippery table so the dog had to concentrate on her footing; a second person and the vet. Everything short of anesthetic.
Well, enough procrastinating. Here I go. I will keep you all updated.