I think that writing is craziness. It is for me. I just finished the writers weekly 24 Hour Contest. It's sweet torture and the only relief is to submit. Having not submitted at times in the past I can tell you that it does NOT feel good. Sure, it's only $5 to enter, but I'm haunted until finished.
I look forward to these weekends and I hope I am off work. I don't know why because I tend to write better on the weekends I am working. Less screwing around. I must say that this weekend I got more cleaning, shopping, reading, grooming done than when not writing. I took the tv off the shelf and dusted behind it. I moved the shelves. Old photo albums were thrown out. Magazines tossed. Even the dog got her nails filed.
At first I was excited and I went to bed early Fri night in anticipation of going to Ashbridges Bay to take some early morning photos before the snow started, and to be in a relaxed but alert mood when the topic was posted (1 pm. my time). For the first time I turned off the alarm and didn't go. This gave me strong feelings of self-loathing the second time I awoke.
It was snowing. No camera today! So I looked at the topic and felt sick. Nothing. Blank. Only cliche ideas.
Out for groceries I didn't need. Stayed in the store 2 hours waiting for the guy to make me a chicken-pot pie from scratch because they were out for today. I read a lot of magazines and a lot of labels. Put the pie in the freezer when I got home.
I stared at the blank monitor for about an hour then edited the topic about 50 times. I had a nap. I woke up and had a ranting conversation on msn about genre fiction.
I promised myself I'd get up early and to take some photos so the whole weekend woudn't be wasted. I settled back to bed with a photography book. I had a spark of inspiration (as I always do after I have decided it's okay not to submit). I opened the word processor and typed like a fool, finishing and submitting in one draft. For once, just bloody once, I'd like to write like a normal person with an outline and several drafts. omg but this is insane!
Now it's early morning and I want to celebrate by taking some photos but it's SNOWING! Don't want to wreck the camera........ so I'm blogging.
I think this is explained nicely in Steven Pressfield's "The War of Art" and also by Stephen King in his book about writing. Margaret Attwood wrote about organizing, discipline and procrastination. Bill McKee says writing is the hardest thing you'll ever do. So, I'm not the only one...