Once upon a time in a land far away there was a family of spider monkeys. They swung from the trees using their tails as much as their limbs. Because of this, they did not require clothing, backpacks or hiking boots. They lived happily and freely, roaming the forest and jungles without a care in the world. (Okay it's cliche and semimental but stick with me here.) On occasion they would bring their dslrs and telephoto lenses with them.
In fact, they were called the tribe of "hand-helds", unlike their cousins whose tails had withered away to nothing from nonuse and thus were called the tribe of "encumbereds" because they carried their cameras in one paw. This tribe was popularly known as the "tripods".
I'm looking at tripods. I don't want to. I don't want one. If I don't want blurred photos and repetitive stress injury from lugging a heavy camera/telephoto, I'll be getting one. So, I'm looking a heads, gears, legs, alloys, brackets and more stuff in order to find the most freeing way to encumber myself. This has to be the driest aspect of photography! I think it would be easier to grow a tail!